Happy Fathers Day :'(

Its only a trivial matter, and yet the tears can't stop flowing. From what I deduced, I've made some bad decisions these two days.

Yesterday, the talentime committee had a karaoke session. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did go anyway. 12.30 am singing. My throat had that bad feeling and I ignored it. My mind had 2 contradicting voices.. they were either a voice of reason and a voice of temptation.. when I made my decision to go, I didn't feel good. I went for the sake of going. True enough, I didn't exactly enjoy myself at all. Too many people.. It felt like foundation karaoke.. I was choking... It felt nice only for a while.. then the feeling faded away..

Today..is the worst thing ever.. and I can tell you that I only blame no one but myself. I have no Idea what had actually happened to me..not thinking things through before I make a big decision.. There's a fact about me...I don't actually know when to say "no".

I had planned to go back today.. due to the fact that its father's day, i have to take my management book, and attend my church's luncheon..my bro's going to be there.. when raymond who assumed I was going back at night, tried to persuade me to go back after the 5.30 pm church service...

francis called me that friday night to confirm and i asked my mom about it.. my parents said okay.. I found out later they said ok thinking I had already bought the ticket... but my plan was to go there and buy and go back straight away...

I shouldn't have gone to the service anyway...I couldn't pay attention because I was worried I couldn't get a ticket. I was equally excited wit what I planned to do when I do get there.. and then, raymond who promised to send me to pudu at 7.15, came out from the service at 7.30. It was in those 15 minutes I started crying.. I absolutely despise a 'promise' not done... what he said was.. by 7.15 must be out... Now, I'm not mad at miscommunication, I'm dissappointed at the punctuality. From the time I stepped in the car, to the moment I got the call frm mom to cancel the trip ( due to danger), till the time I got home, the tears can't stop streaming down... I can't understand why.

Was it because I plan to pour out all my early semester experience?
was it because I wanted to reduce my dad's calorie intake through the nutrition subject I learned?
was it because I just wanted to see my dear brother back home?
was it because I wanted home-cooked food?
was it bacause I just want to sit with them watching astro together?
was it because I needed my father's nutty jokes?
was it because I just needed to be close to mom and dad?

sometimes, I can't tell, which is part of God's plan and which is just a decision disaster. I'm certainly as devastated as the time I knew I failed my maths test..

My rationality says, "don't dwell on it. It's nothing, only a small matter",
My emotion says, "Stupid!! why didn't you think it through!! you should have made sure everything was clear with everyone!! Look what you've caused.. now you troubled your brother to have to bring your things to you!!".....

Pleasing people is so hard..because It doesn't work both ways...
These are the times, I hate myself for making myself feel bad.. maybe that's why I can't stop crying...

Just going to sleep it off and start doing my work tomorrow. (now's 11 pm)

Bangau'ing

bangau oh bangau, kenape kau sangat kurus,
'cam mane aku tak kurus, rumput tak 'mau timbul..

kalau tiap-tiap kali bagi alasan, 'cam mane nak buat kerje?
'makin hari 'makin gemuk, makan dan tidur saje...
pot pet pot pet saje.. tengok kartun le, sampai nak muntah darah.
jelak la skrang, malas nak buat ape-ape.
cuti tak panjang, nak cuti lagi la!!
result tak banyak, tak buat kerja la!!
Ape nak jadi ni? makin tak buat, makin nak sesal..
kalau nak buat, makinlah nak tidur.. macam mane ni??!!

Adoi!! betul-betul nak muntah ni!!
entah kenape tiba-tiba buat "blog" dalam bahasa.. syok sendiri kut...

Kuat-kuat jerit seperti orang gila ler!!
AAAAAAaaaaaaaAaaaAAAAAaAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaAaAAAAaAa..........!

(phew, gua sudah siao liao..telima kasi manyak manyak..)

Don't harass books, caress them.

I can't believe its the 4th day since I touched any of my books to revise.. what have I been doing?!!
Well, first there was the 2-days of special church services...at night..
then FEStival.. too tired.. went to sleep straight till morning..
then the dinner tonight... till 10??!!

Gotta Buck Up.. and do this right the first time...
ASSignment hath come!!
Reports to be done!!
Tests are coming!!
Tutorials are here!!
Quizes after next week!!
Revise!! .. don't want my books to miss me...

Cram a whole bunch of information in the head..and get PHD..yeah...

Jia Yu Alice!!
Ka Yao!!........ (snore)...Zzzzzz.....(snore)....

Men vs Women

And the Lord brought forth Eve from part of Adam...
The sermon today was hilarious..never seen pastor act this was before.. he was more "nuts" than usual.. ( which I could Relate.. haha).. The sermon of Relationships..

1. men and women are different.
2. Husbands, Love your wives.
3. Wives, submit to your husbands.
4. Wifes, don't NAG him like a kid and expect him to live like a man.
5. Men, learn to listen.
6. Women, need to talk.
7. Men need to retreat.
8. Women forgive in parts (instalments)
9. Men forgive in whole...

Marriage is not a contract, where couples enter into it for gain. It is rather a covenant, a commitment that is permanent, founded upon faith and trust upon God and each other..
-marriage involves emotion but it is not emotional.
-marriage involves fights but it is not a war.
-marriage involves compromise but it is not blind.
-marriage involves logic but it is not purely intellectual.
-marriage involves chemistry but also character.

Falling in Love feels like a fantasy yet True Love is not about falling in Love but also staying in Love.

Communication in marriage.. the most important rule of communications is Discovery before Decision... listening does not amount to conscent.. so listen 1st....

Men and Women are wired differently..
Women's principle: Let's make things better!!
Men's principle: If it ain't broken, don't touch it!!

A man values.....
>>Man is created to have authority (to rule and to lead), to have work (career) and to have achievement (success) in life.
>>"competency" and "efficiency"... or "usefulness" is very meaningful..its very big thing to men!!
(A man needs to know that he is useful)
>>A man's sense of self-worth is defined through his ability to achieve results.....

A woman values....
>>A man is project-based but a woman is Feeling-based.
Eve was created as a helper, a companion.. different from Adam but equal to him, with a different calling in life.
>So, by nature, being "feeling-based" a woman values love (affection), beauty, and relationships.
A woman's life is about sharing of emotion and feelings... no need solutions..

So when a wife comes home and shares her problem, she is merely sharing her feelings..husbands, no need for solutions, it's not important to answer..just listen!!

The secret of doing things right is in the timing-to know when to speak and how to say it.. Communication is an art.. its not what you say, its how you say it..

Men are motivated and empowered when they are needed and when their need is required. Women are motivated and empowered when they are loved and cherished.

Men want Respect and women want Appreciation...

COMPROMISE is not a negative word!!