One love, One Life, One Dream

Finally free to write something..but I only write if there is something to write..

With Emerge already over, the spirit remains.. the life of a christian is growth.. not only in spirit but in physical self as well.

Exam's over (finally) but I still don't feel the freedom.. are we really free from tests? I can't help feeling that I still have much to do.. but I am not sensitive to what I must do..the mind keeps playing tricks on me..and its getting dangerous when responsibility grows.

one, Taman Negara trip this wednesday.. I thank God for allowing this trip to go on.. though it still seem rough around the edges. We've got a smaller bus for 20 pl but we had to increase the price, unfortunately.. still finding a staff to go with us.. Pray its going to be a good weather so that they can enjoy to the max..

Next.. industrial training.. well.. nuthing much to say.. but I'm still grateful that i was accepted.. now I would be praying hard for leaves on the 18 till the 24th november for ASIA CONFERENCE in SINGAPORE!!! WEEEEEE....!! If accepted..when its accepted..it would be my first trip to another country other than thailand (like 15 years ago??!!--I don't remember what I did there..oh dear..)

Anyways...hopefully I'll enjoy the fun and excitement of movies and bowling today.. I guess all students earns it after weeks of hard work.. Plus.. I still need to go shopping!!!!! shoes! I need sport shoes for the TAMAN NEGARA trip!! and more track suits... (no wonder I feel the pressure...haiz...)

Prayer needs of the time being..
1) my brother-in-law.. cancer ain't a pleasant thing.. and sis..give her strength..
2) auntie lee suan..she's recovering.. hope it ain't contagious
3) Taman negara.. good weather, pleasant trip..cooperative pl
4) industrial training leaves..success of ASIA CONFERENCE with me there..
5) sze hui, florence and yvonne's SPM..straight A's!!
6) friends..bless them as they enjoy their holidays and do their industrial training..

Aims this holiday
1) complete industrial training..haha.. weekly report and final report..
2) weekly reports to raymond..can't forget cell leader leh..
3) email to cell group members...
4) quality time with Amah.. and auntie ong..and little (not that little! ) cuzzins
5) read finish the bible and 2 books
6) read micro book???!!! (reconsidering...should i??)
7) go shopping for new clothes.. old clothes are boring.. new year makeover!!

I trusted him.. though I doubted myself.. He still came through for me.. I'm glad I have Him..Love Ya..~Amen!

Propose to me O proposal!!

Taman Negara.. its exciting but rather annoyingly troublesome..

Music club Welcoming Dinner.. food again??!! If that is what brings people together..

When you grow older the responsibilities pile up more and more.. hope I don't burst..

Currently ASSin' around with ASSignments
Tests are coming and
Reports are due..

Can't wait for industrial training.. but the trouble is.. where would it be??

Happy Fathers Day :'(

Its only a trivial matter, and yet the tears can't stop flowing. From what I deduced, I've made some bad decisions these two days.

Yesterday, the talentime committee had a karaoke session. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did go anyway. 12.30 am singing. My throat had that bad feeling and I ignored it. My mind had 2 contradicting voices.. they were either a voice of reason and a voice of temptation.. when I made my decision to go, I didn't feel good. I went for the sake of going. True enough, I didn't exactly enjoy myself at all. Too many people.. It felt like foundation karaoke.. I was choking... It felt nice only for a while.. then the feeling faded away..

Today..is the worst thing ever.. and I can tell you that I only blame no one but myself. I have no Idea what had actually happened to me..not thinking things through before I make a big decision.. There's a fact about me...I don't actually know when to say "no".

I had planned to go back today.. due to the fact that its father's day, i have to take my management book, and attend my church's luncheon..my bro's going to be there.. when raymond who assumed I was going back at night, tried to persuade me to go back after the 5.30 pm church service...

francis called me that friday night to confirm and i asked my mom about it.. my parents said okay.. I found out later they said ok thinking I had already bought the ticket... but my plan was to go there and buy and go back straight away...

I shouldn't have gone to the service anyway...I couldn't pay attention because I was worried I couldn't get a ticket. I was equally excited wit what I planned to do when I do get there.. and then, raymond who promised to send me to pudu at 7.15, came out from the service at 7.30. It was in those 15 minutes I started crying.. I absolutely despise a 'promise' not done... what he said was.. by 7.15 must be out... Now, I'm not mad at miscommunication, I'm dissappointed at the punctuality. From the time I stepped in the car, to the moment I got the call frm mom to cancel the trip ( due to danger), till the time I got home, the tears can't stop streaming down... I can't understand why.

Was it because I plan to pour out all my early semester experience?
was it because I wanted to reduce my dad's calorie intake through the nutrition subject I learned?
was it because I just wanted to see my dear brother back home?
was it because I wanted home-cooked food?
was it bacause I just want to sit with them watching astro together?
was it because I needed my father's nutty jokes?
was it because I just needed to be close to mom and dad?

sometimes, I can't tell, which is part of God's plan and which is just a decision disaster. I'm certainly as devastated as the time I knew I failed my maths test..

My rationality says, "don't dwell on it. It's nothing, only a small matter",
My emotion says, "Stupid!! why didn't you think it through!! you should have made sure everything was clear with everyone!! Look what you've caused.. now you troubled your brother to have to bring your things to you!!".....

Pleasing people is so hard..because It doesn't work both ways...
These are the times, I hate myself for making myself feel bad.. maybe that's why I can't stop crying...

Just going to sleep it off and start doing my work tomorrow. (now's 11 pm)

Bangau'ing

bangau oh bangau, kenape kau sangat kurus,
'cam mane aku tak kurus, rumput tak 'mau timbul..

kalau tiap-tiap kali bagi alasan, 'cam mane nak buat kerje?
'makin hari 'makin gemuk, makan dan tidur saje...
pot pet pot pet saje.. tengok kartun le, sampai nak muntah darah.
jelak la skrang, malas nak buat ape-ape.
cuti tak panjang, nak cuti lagi la!!
result tak banyak, tak buat kerja la!!
Ape nak jadi ni? makin tak buat, makin nak sesal..
kalau nak buat, makinlah nak tidur.. macam mane ni??!!

Adoi!! betul-betul nak muntah ni!!
entah kenape tiba-tiba buat "blog" dalam bahasa.. syok sendiri kut...

Kuat-kuat jerit seperti orang gila ler!!
AAAAAAaaaaaaaAaaaAAAAAaAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaAaAAAAaAa..........!

(phew, gua sudah siao liao..telima kasi manyak manyak..)

Don't harass books, caress them.

I can't believe its the 4th day since I touched any of my books to revise.. what have I been doing?!!
Well, first there was the 2-days of special church services...at night..
then FEStival.. too tired.. went to sleep straight till morning..
then the dinner tonight... till 10??!!

Gotta Buck Up.. and do this right the first time...
ASSignment hath come!!
Reports to be done!!
Tests are coming!!
Tutorials are here!!
Quizes after next week!!
Revise!! .. don't want my books to miss me...

Cram a whole bunch of information in the head..and get PHD..yeah...

Jia Yu Alice!!
Ka Yao!!........ (snore)...Zzzzzz.....(snore)....

Men vs Women

And the Lord brought forth Eve from part of Adam...
The sermon today was hilarious..never seen pastor act this was before.. he was more "nuts" than usual.. ( which I could Relate.. haha).. The sermon of Relationships..

1. men and women are different.
2. Husbands, Love your wives.
3. Wives, submit to your husbands.
4. Wifes, don't NAG him like a kid and expect him to live like a man.
5. Men, learn to listen.
6. Women, need to talk.
7. Men need to retreat.
8. Women forgive in parts (instalments)
9. Men forgive in whole...

Marriage is not a contract, where couples enter into it for gain. It is rather a covenant, a commitment that is permanent, founded upon faith and trust upon God and each other..
-marriage involves emotion but it is not emotional.
-marriage involves fights but it is not a war.
-marriage involves compromise but it is not blind.
-marriage involves logic but it is not purely intellectual.
-marriage involves chemistry but also character.

Falling in Love feels like a fantasy yet True Love is not about falling in Love but also staying in Love.

Communication in marriage.. the most important rule of communications is Discovery before Decision... listening does not amount to conscent.. so listen 1st....

Men and Women are wired differently..
Women's principle: Let's make things better!!
Men's principle: If it ain't broken, don't touch it!!

A man values.....
>>Man is created to have authority (to rule and to lead), to have work (career) and to have achievement (success) in life.
>>"competency" and "efficiency"... or "usefulness" is very meaningful..its very big thing to men!!
(A man needs to know that he is useful)
>>A man's sense of self-worth is defined through his ability to achieve results.....

A woman values....
>>A man is project-based but a woman is Feeling-based.
Eve was created as a helper, a companion.. different from Adam but equal to him, with a different calling in life.
>So, by nature, being "feeling-based" a woman values love (affection), beauty, and relationships.
A woman's life is about sharing of emotion and feelings... no need solutions..

So when a wife comes home and shares her problem, she is merely sharing her feelings..husbands, no need for solutions, it's not important to answer..just listen!!

The secret of doing things right is in the timing-to know when to speak and how to say it.. Communication is an art.. its not what you say, its how you say it..

Men are motivated and empowered when they are needed and when their need is required. Women are motivated and empowered when they are loved and cherished.

Men want Respect and women want Appreciation...

COMPROMISE is not a negative word!!

Exam results

You know, the term... "start low, then step-by-step get higher"?
I don't think it applies to exams.. does it? yet it seems to apply to mine.. Foundation for example.. 2.8 to 3.0 to 3.2.... well, I can't say I'm complaining about that.

I'm just not that satisfied with my current results.. sem 1, 2.4... sem 2..increase by 0.05... I'm not saying I'm ungrateful 'cos there is an increase..its just, the increase is not as satisfying as I thought it would be. These two semesters, there were donkeys pulling me down... How I despise maths... I guess the term.. be happy with what you have..... "at least you increased, dearie, while others had dEcreased...."

It's funny you know.. 1 A, 1 B-, 1 C+, 1 D..... e,f,g,h,...( well that's a cold joke..cough..), A nice B+ for pengajian malaysia.. but not included in the CGPA.. to bad.
Again... I'm grateful and thankful to God for the results. But I'm not satisfied with it, I want to raise it up above 3.00.. Guess I have to work harder this time...

Pastor mentioned... "If you can do it the first time, do you have time to do it the second time??"
Answer?.... No. I don't have time. Life is only one time. No seconders.

Trust Hims always, and He will direct you.
~amen

Touched.

"..and why do we fall??...so we can learn to pick ourselves up..." ( batman begins)

I received an e-mail regarding the sichuan earthquake. I can't say that it wasn't touching, 'cause it was. May 12 2008, even I didn't actually know the date until I read the e-mail. Sometimes I wonder about my feelings of emphathy, or am I just selfish... But what I can tell you is that tragedies can show a side of the world that should have been there always. I was actually starring at this photo. This smiling boy, the strength he had in midst of the shock, unimaginable. I salute him..

Is God really trying to tell us something? The tsunami that even affected Malaysia which I never thought a natural disaster such as this would even reach this country. I was,.... dumbfounded. Yet again it brought out the goodess in people.

I now wonder, why is it that we only show the kindness in our heart for people who are in need, and not freely to all regardless whether they need it or not? Even if the people who give their donations, I do often ponder if it was out for show? Check this out...

Well I guess the first guy was a little "over".. but I do get the gesture. Kindness knows no bounds. Love is abundant. Life is so, we live as such, to never fear Life itself but fear the unlive life. If this side was the only side ot it...

Lord, there are 70,000 out there who are dead, over 20,000 who are missing and 32,000 who are injured. I venerate those who died saving others, teachers for example...parents. I don't know if the stories are true, as the media nowdays sometime get overexcited. However, I know that love is going that extra mile to a level that could even cause one's life. I hope the death toll does not increase. Bless the dead and welcome them in your presense in heaven. Bless the survivors that they may not dwell in the things they cannot undo and live on, knowing strength and perseverence in remembrance of their deceased loved ones. Give anointing to those volunteers who help and aid the rescue operation. Those who are willing to save strangers. Only you know how I can help them, because I don't. Lead me down a path to which I can help others and see the smiles on their faces.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your Paths." proverbs 3: 5-6

A-men

Only one single

Wedding bells Rang for my bro and his beloved wife. what I felt a little weird for these three weeks of my semester break was the constant travelling. I stayed back in KL after my exam for 2 days, then went to Kuantan for a rest on thursday. The, on Sunday the same week, I came back to KLfor a meeting on Monday and Tuesday. Thursday, off to Ipoh..

Preparing for a wedding is so danged hectic, especially when you are involved in it... it wasn't the planning or anything like that. It was the clothes. Never want to look bad on your own bro's wedding... not to mention the last minute tea ceremony for the wife's side of the family... and being the camera person!!!... not easy...but alls well that ends well... for that day that is..
The dinner was...Awesome.. there were 20 people I knew.. some I couldn't recognize.. but they ll knew me...creepy.. the food.. like the normal 8-course dinner..no biggy..
At the end of the session, Dad was thanking the guests and promoting the upcoming wedding next year..(my sis's).. haha, can't beat a father's enthusiasm..

I went home a day after the dinner.. it was a tiring 3-hour journey.. I dozed off, when I opened my eyes..gombak toll...
wedding part two... in subang Imperial China... my God!! the Place had that 5-star service.. but quite hard to get to.. we got lost on the way there, and on the way back. I can never know how my father can explain the way to places but not find the way himself..hmm....
The lunch was a rush though..we were there since 11.30 mornin and the whole thing had to end at 3 sharp for the next reception..they put videos of the photo album and the proposal my bro made to his wife.. it was funny..haha.. don't think I could forget any of it..

What can I say.. when I see them together, I seetwo people made for each other. A perfect match like a jigsaw God was putting together. Now that the wedding's over, I just can't wait for something else....involving little feet...haha...wishing them a Great life together...foreva.

Denatured Proteins.

Haiz.... the sensual smell of fried eggs in the morning.. missing my home..

I'm homeward bound in two days and I feel there's still more to do here.. and time is of the essense. The joys and trials here are real, as reality put it. If my mind was put to the test, I can assure you I can do things I intend to do.. with a nudge here and there. Mother's Day is this week.. I bet you, when the news of my return reaches the church there, I should be expecting a call by this week...Hey, don't have to tell me twice about a gift..

but my mom would refuse a gift.. Called her yesterday.. the house can't fit anymore novelties..

can't write long, got plans today. The moment I've been waiting for this semester..dress shopping. Lord, I hope its a success..

It's not OveR

Exam's over.. or is it?

1. Life itself is a test.. the trials and tribulations tests our faith to God.
2. The Devil tests our will power to withstand temptations..
3. or the plausibilty of our dreams, desires and ambition are tested through our actions.
4. All the time people are watching, testing your walk as you talk, though you don't think they'd notice.

God created the perfect man that is Adam and from him, Eve. But it was Both Adam and Eve's actions that make us, the descendants of his descendant Abraham... human. As humans, I can tell you we would fail all these tests at least once in our lifetime. It is inevitable. As humans, we are a doomed existance.. comma... saved by the grace of God.



(Hey, being a christian means CHOOSING to live by the ways of God.. that does not mean I have to preach the word to every single person I encounter.. doomed is the one who does not know what he is doing.. incorrect statements bring false joy and tormented spirits. This is purely my thoughts.)

Overcoming the Failures:

Quote from Batman begins, " Why do we fall?... so we can learn to pick ourselves up again."

How???...The silent Rule Of Life..

It is ALWAYS a CHOICE.

I can choose to not study for my exam and choose to watch anime instead.
I can choose to end my life as much as I can choose to live on.
I can choose to be dilligent. I can choose to idle.
I can live by faith and have meaning or live in sin and feel nothing.
Choice, I can control that,which equally controls me..
Ergo, I can choose to NOT fail, by an integration of other choices. I can choose to succeed.


"There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence beside a crooked stile;
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house."

Alas, the human will is ever so fallible, malleable and vulnerable. Break it , weave it , twist it bend it, whatever... such a crooked end hanging by a thread.

Having crapped all that, the conclusive nutshell is that exams are never over.. even after University...live with it, can't live without. Fact.

May God's Grace and Mercy save us from ourselves. Wash and Cleanse us and bid us free from the plagues of despicable sin... FACT,...God needs bleach.

God -willing, I hope I'll raise my CGPA.

Prayer is the ultimate weapon..
"until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you shall receive. That your joy may be full" John 16:24

~amen

Jeez.

Please let it be over with. These exams can literally "kill" your spirit.

Djo.

Everybody's goin home... except me.. one last paper to go...sobz..

MuM's Day is coming up, haven't decided on a gift yet..

Yo..

Hey, just procrastinating here...

If this is that warm morning I wanted,
This is not what I hoped for.
Books, papers and facts of life..
"can't write everything down!"
"can't memorise in time!"
If only I didn't procrastinate,
If only I didn't idle,
Yet thoughts of regret
overshadows my efforts,
or whats left of it.
The motivation has been there,
But the mood not embedded.
I live only once,
but with my thoughts elsewhere..
Dreams and Desires become memories..

gambateh..

crappin'

Yo..its my first time bloggin' here.. I totally left my friendster blog for this one. Its a little more private.. haha.. and I bet people are gonna read it anyway.. well, I'm an average person with.. no ..my life isn't average. It's interesting and blessed. No poverty, no family politics (maybe a few quarrels here and there), happily married (and a little cuckoo) parents, a big sis that never fails to 'kacau' you when you need it and a big bro who never (he tries) fails to help.

I guess this year is the most eventful year o my life so far..four weddings.. (no funeral!!).. I'm soooOOooo happee.. there's two more members added to the family.. can't wait for the ceremony..

My big sis registered on valentine's day.. i saw her on the newspaper.. sleepy.. i really do wonder if opposites do attract....no comment.. funny that they haven't plan the wedding yet..I'm hopeful..

Big bro registered...on...o dear..I forgot the date.. but they waited wAy too long already.. I guess when you want a perfect wedding, gotta take the other packaging along ($$). Wedding on his birthday.. and I haven't had the time to go dress-shopping, being in the midst of the exmination period. The wedding's in 2 weeks!!??

Hey yo..rushing, rushing.. gotta go study.. the last subject is the worst.. and most difficult. Metabolic Biochemistry.. if I fail this.. I can't go into year 2... EEK! but I am not afraid to try my best..

(Pray For Me brothers and sisters in Christ..as I do for you..)

"Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." -proverbs 3; 5-6

~amen